Left at the Alter

“Everything’s all good.” I said. I had never felt like more of a fraud than I did today.

I wasn’t able to put my all into it because I noticed Eli walking towards Jeremy and the group of guys. When I got over to them, I couldn’t have looked more awkward. Stanley and Eli were standing somewhat apart from the other guys at this point and I probably appear to be a drunk bride running for no reason. 

“You like photos right Jeremy?” Eli grinned like nothing ever happened. I think this scared me more. He waived over the photographer and told me to get Torre because we were about to take a picture. One of the waiters passed by and Eli grabbed three drinks off of his tray. He handed two of them to me. 

“We toasting to the beautiful married couple?” Stanley smiled. 

“Something like that.” He took the shot deciding not to wait for the rest of us. 

Eli took a shot and I took one. Then he led me off to the dancefloor. I was surprised that Eli wanted to dance with me, and even more surprised that we stayed out there so long  with what was transpiring between us personally. I thought we were dancing our way back to normalcy. At some point Jeremy must have gotten past us because he was returning to his seat now.  On his way past he raised his glass, winked at me and kept going. He re-claimed his seat on the stairs as I felt Eli’s heart thud out of his chest. Though I still had my arms wrapped around his neck he stopped moving with me. I finally let go and stood there, afraid to move because I knew something was off. I could not hear the conversation when Eli walked over to Stanley.

I was trying to lip read when someone tapped my shoulder from behind. I was irritated but I turned around and found Abby behind me.

“You are a beautiful bride.” The words spilled out of her mouth as she held up her phone to capture a selfie of us. For the angle to work I had to turn my back to the men. I gave her my quickest fake smile and only faintly heard her whisper, “He told you?” 

I stared into her eyes as they revealed her pain. I wanted to hate her, but the truth was there wasn’t much difference between her and I.

I broke the gaze in search of Eli. I couldn’t deal with her right now and I didn’t have any more mental capacity to deal with Jeremy. When I spotted Eli, I barely had enough time to react. Stanley had just taken his gun out of the holster and handed it to Tony. He aimed it at the ground and the men just looked at it, admiration in their eyes. Abby was quick on my heels and we reached them just as Tony was passing the pistol to his right.

“Eli,” I said with more breath than voice. 

He looked at me, a look of concern on his face. Both hands on the weapon. 

“You know he always good ma, when he with us.” Tony said, really not understanding the severity of the situation. Eli looked back at him and Tony nodded toward him. 

“Appreciate it.” He said to Tony before turning his attention back to me. 

Eli said. He pressed his lips on mine and held them there for a moment. This was the moment I was sure I knew what was going to happen next. His kissed tasted like a bitter goodbye. A huge part of me hoped he would hold that gun to my head and let his finger dance until it pressed on the trigger. 

“Get a room!” Stanley said loud enough to be heard by those who were close over the music. I watched him laugh after and I resented his ignorance as he danced away.  I glanced back at Abby and followed her eyes to Jeremy. His gaze was on me. She looked at me like she knew, she looked at me like she was afraid. I looked back at Jeremy locked in on those hypnotizing eyes. I broke my gaze when I saw Anna happily approaching him from behind. 

I looked back just in time to see Elijah looking at me looking at Jeremy for the last time. When I made eye contact with him, he looked disgusted and nodded before looking past me. He raised the gun and aimed it at Jeremy. Abby screamed and ran towards Eli as he fired. 

Jeremy never had time to react as he fell next to the altar. Anna had been splattered with some of Jeremy’s blood and stood there watching and crying. She couldn’t bring herself to touch the body. Abby had collapsed next to Eli on the ground and was crying for someone to just ‘call the goddamn ambulance’. Others were screaming and running over one another trying to scurry out of the reception room. I didn’t move an inch. I wanted to leave behind art extraordinaire, something to enhance life, something unique that no one else could leave behind. I wanted to leave behind works that would have people talking about me for centuries. Tonight, I had made art in private and had never felt more alive. As a result of this tonight I had left behind heartache and treachery and I was mourning through it all. Watching Jeremy lay there on the stairs felt like razor blades slicing through my soul. Felt like a bulldozer swinging through one of my sculptures, painful despite the fact that I was the driver. One could argue it was both our faults, but he was no longer around to weigh in on the argument. He was no longer able to make masterpieces or jokes or love. He would no longer feel the pain of what Abby’s affair had done to him, but he would also never feel the love a father feels for his children. Because of me Abigail would never get the chance to reveal to him that her twins were his. The lack of controlling my desires caused a ripple affect just big enough to make me wish I were dead. Jeremy’s blood was on my hands and would be in every piece of artwork I touched going forward. 

The end…

D. Shelton

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