Left at the Alter

“Someone said we had a wedding to plan!” Anna walked into Uncle Days carrying donuts, coffee and a trader Joes bag. 

“Hey girl!” I got up from where I was seated at the card table to give her a hug. 

“This is for you.” She sung. Placing the donuts in my hand, she reached in her Trader Joe’s grocery bag and garnished a manila envelope.  

“What’s this?” I asked pulling out what appeared to be a scrapbook of some sort. I flipped it over in my hand. It was all black and in beautiful script and etched in gold was the word ‘CassArt’. I glanced at Anna and her excited look made me smile harder. She gestured for me to open the book and when I did, I got teary eyed. Captured on these pages were many photographs of me from the time they loaded my sculpture onto the flat bed of a truck, to when they put it into the ground. There were photos of me laying on the roof of Jeremy’s car and staring at the stars with eyes full of tears. He captured the unveiling in its entirety and even some photos after. I was taken by the way he captured me in these photos, the emotion and the depth that was there. 

I glanced up at Anna both moved and ashamed. This felt wrong on so many levels. 

“It was Jeremy’s idea. He has a knack for things like this. God knows I do not.” She reached out to me for a hug. I didn’t’ know what else to do so I gave it to her, but it felt dirty. I liked Anna a lot and how I allowed myself to think of her boyfriend the way in which I did disgusted me. I was betraying my friend and soon to be sister in law. First, I told myself that I didn’t do anything wrong and Jeremy was flirting with me. I decided I would tell her. But if I was being honest, it would have come out more like this. It was almost like blaming the  weed in the blunt for getting you high once you had made the decision to smoke it. So, I kept my lips closed and just hoped that their relationship would run its course There wouldn’t be a reason to be around Jeremy. There would no longer be a need for Anna to know and the only thing that has ever made me doubt if I should marry Eli, would be out of the picture for good. However, I knew then that if he saw me the way he photographed me, we had a bigger problem.  

“How many bridesmaids do you think I should have?” I asked switching the subject.   “I say don’t have none.” Anna said. 

“I have to have bridesmaids.” I said picking up a magazine that Marla had brought with her. 

“Make it your own. Me, Elijah and one of Tony’s friends were the only ones in Abby’s wedding. All that matters is that it’s special for you.”

“You interested in marriage? I mean with Jeremy?”

I must have caught her off guard because she choked on her mimosa, but when she got herself together, she smiled. 

“There is so much more to that man than meets the eye. He actually is the first person that I thought I could actually settle down and marry. I never wanted to settle down – I just like to have fun. I love the freedom of being able to do whatever whenever ya know. With Jeremy you don’t worry and then there’s the sex.” Her schoolgirl grin told us everything we needed to know about that.

Marla laughed and the conversation seemed to continue around me, but I was no longer there.  

“Cass, I need to head to the store. Seems Tony was supposed to pick up the buns and he did not.” She grabbed her light jacket off of the back of the chair and looked up at me, “need anything else?”

“I think I’m good, thanks.” But right before she went out the door, I remembered that I was supposed to pick up the Ice and drinks. I walked out the back door with her to grab my wallet. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I had to take a double look. In the driveway Abby and Jeremy had just passed each other and it definitely looked like she reached for his dick. We watched him smack her hand out the way and clench his jaw at her. Then he noticed me. He gave her another look and walked away. When she turned around, she had a menacing grin pasted on her face. Until she seen what he had seen. Until she seen us. Marla cocked her head to the side but straightened it out. She probably remembered that this was their families house and if things went south, no matter what we think we saw, this family was going to stick together. 

---

I hung out by the back porch after giving Marla my bank card. When Jeremy returned, I just stared up at him from the bottom step.  First, he walked past me like I wasn’t there. Then, after he was about five or six steps beyond me, he backed up. 

“I don’t like explaining myself to people.”

“And you do not owe me anything.” I said like I had not been sitting there hoping he would walk back this way. 

“Come here.” He dropped his hand from where it had been shielding his eyed from the sun and turned and walked towards the garage. 

“I’m not going anywhere  with you.” I said. I don’t know if he really didn’t hear me or if he was pretending not to hear me because he continued in his path. Despite what I said I followed him. I mean if he couldn’t hear me, did I even really say anything? 

“Yo…” I started off. I was ready to tell him all about how I wanted off of his sick little ride and I did not want to be a part of the family affair he had going on with the twins. I was ready to let him know that he had to stop flirting with me because it was disrespectful and dangerous. Suppose my fiancé found out who knows what he would do. I was going to tell him exactly how uninterested I was in being his anything including friend. 

“I proposed to Abigail.”